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This list includes movies that are actually scary. They range from sorta scary (House), to, pretty dang scary (Session 9). I like these movies, and I think you might too. But, I don’t like really icky, scary movies where it ends all creepy and the bad guy wins, ‘cus that just ruins my day. SO, I will give you the option of reading the ending of these movies. Obviously, by clicking on the Ending of the movie, you will be spoiling it. But, it’s your choice.

 


 

thething1The Thing

  • Directed by: John Carpenter
    • Quite possibly one of the best horror directors of all time, he directed such gems as Halloween, In the Mouth of Madness, Christine, and the Fog. He also did Escape from New York, Escape from L.A., and Big Trouble in Little China, and They Live. So he REALLY likes Curt Russel and camp.

This is definitely my favorite monster movie. Not quite sure if it’s my favorite horror movie, as Session 9 and The Orphanage are pretty freekin’ awesome as well.  Yes, I say this over the original Alien (and I’m a huge Alien fan)  movie and here’s why. It was not a guy in a suit. Not their fault, that’s what they had to work with, but Carpenter specifically did not want a monster that consisted of a dude in a suit. He wanted really cool, weird special effects...and that’s what he got.

Warning, this is graphic and awesome. graphiawesome.

Making the movie.

The special effects in this movie are pre CGI (computer generated imagery).  This meant all the weirdness in it, had to be done while filming it. So, it actually happened in real space, with real people manipulating it to make it do weird things. This why it looks so creepily real, because it IS real, they actually did it in front of the camera.

Of course, the scenes that have a dog split its face open and send out tentacles attacking other dogs, or the dude’s head stretching off the neck to escape and grow eye stalks and legs like a crab aren’t real. They’re all very amazing special effects. But special effects that happened in the real world, not in some one's computer first.

This is positive and a negative. Two negatives. One: it doesn’t look as real as it could, since there’s is a lot of rubber and silicone used in these types of effects, though with good lighting, this can be hidden. And two, it’s flammable! In the special edition DVD, the making of documentary explains that the room with the scene where the head separates filled with noxious fumes and when John Carpenter wanted actual flame under the camera to retain continuity with the other scenes in the room, the whole effect went up in flames and hours of work blew up. Thankfully, everyone was fine, but they had to reset the whole thing. (if you’re a fan of the movie, watch the making of, it’s really good).

The story.

The story came from a short story, which was originally adapted to film in 1951 called The Thing from Another World.  In the original short story, the creature could morph into other entities and copy them, making it all the more scary since you didn’t know who might or might not be a thing that wants to eat your face. This idea was removed from the original film as it would have been impossible given their effects technology at the time, but Carpenter brought that idea back for his remake, and man is it creepy.

Here’s the premise, it’s pretty simple. The Norwegians (stupid Norwegians...I’m a Norwegian btw) camp in Antarctica dug up an alien space ship and found a “survivor”. (All this is explained in greater detail in the prequel called “The Thing”, released in 2011, which I reviewed so click it).

So, naturally, the Americans (stupid Americans...I’m an American btw) take a dead creepy thing back with them. But of course its not fully dead and things start crawling out of the walls, ripping faces off, and generally making things uncomfortable. There are three things that make this movie unique. 1) The setting is at a very remote science station in Antarctica, where there really isn’t any hope of escaping to anywhere. 2) All the actors are males, so there is no sexual tension or anything, its just guys trying to survive and figure things out. 3) The creature can take any form, including other people, so it’s likely that someone who looks like a dude, may not be a dude, but may actually be a creepy monster thing that wants to give you candy. Wait, I meant eat your face.

 

theorphanageThe Orphanage

Directed by Guillermo Del Toro.  He also directed the Hellboy movies and Pan’s Labyrinth (do NOT confuse that with the David Bowie, Jim Henson and cute little Jennifer Connolly movie. NOT the same).

The Story

The premise here is that a woman brings her family home to where she grew up and opens up an orphanage there.  Her son begins to act oddly and disappears. In one of the most creepy, freekie scenes ever, a ghost kid wearing an equally creepy mask standing in the creepy big hallway stares down the mother at the end of it. He comes after her and attacks her, pushing her into the bathroom and slamming the door on her and breaking one of her fingers in the door. At this point, you move the !&uck out.

But she’s still missing her kid and needs to find him. She begins to think that the ghosts may know something about it. So, in the second most scary scenes in a creepy movie, she plays a game with the ghosts to get them to show up. The game is one she used to play with the children at that same place, one in which you knock and count and turn around. But you can’t turn around until you knock. Kind of like red light green light. But she’s playing with ghost orphan kids. This scene is SO creepy and good.

 

session9Session 9

Directed by Brad Anderson. He also directed Transiberian (SUPER good), The Machinest (where Batman has anorexia), and Happy Accidents (about a dude that comes back from the future to save a woman he loves, no, not Terminator).

This is right up there in the creep factor with The Orphanage.

The Story

The story here is a group of guys are hired to get the asbestos out of an old insane asylum. That right there is enough to scare the begeses (bejesus?) out of people. Of course the building is all kinds of creepy (are there any horror movies filmed in happy places with bright lighting and ponies?) and each guy has their own thing to work on. One of them has a problem with his relationship with his wife, another is selling drugs from time to time, another is scared of the dark, and another thinks its fun to listen to old tapes of psychologists interviewed REALLY screwed up patients.

The story progresses, when things in the place start to get weird, it seems as though there may be something creepin’ around, making things uncomfortable, maybe making some of the guys disappear. The story line, script, actors, characters are all good. I recommend it for a good Halloween watch.

 

 

silverbulletSilver Bullet

Directed by Daniel Attias, who is also known for Beverly Hills 90210...so...
The story is based on a Steven King story.

The Story

A young boy, played by Corey Haim before he went nuts, is in a wheel chair and is best friends with that girl from Ann of Green Gables (“Carrot!” my sisters made me watch it). He loves fireworks, so his crazy uncle, (played by crazy him self, Gary Busy) gives him some to go shoot off by himself after making him a kickass wheel chair that goes way faster than any normal one should with a moped motor. So, he rides off by himself at night and starts shooting them off.

Then a big monster comes after him and he shoots the thing in the eye.

The next day, the local pastor has a patch over his eye...and people are going missing.

The kids are convinced that the pastor is really a wear wolf, and must be killed. But none of them have any silver weapons. So, they round up their silver jewelry and melt it down, making one silver bullet.

I’m getting chills just writing this.

This is a GREAT movie, and one that wouldn’t be a bad one to watch with kids, like, say, ten and up. It’s not that scary and fun especially when it’s a movie about kids overcoming their adversity...and that adversity is a creepy ass wear wolf eating people.

houseHouse

“Ding Dong, You’re dead.”
Directed by Steve Miner. He also did Fridey the 13th Part 2, Lake Placid, and Forever Young.

This movie scared the shit out of me when I was five. I couldn’t sleep at night. The creepy ass violin all the time reminding me I’m watchinga creepy movie. The creepy house being all creepy. And even the creepy being creepy.

But, now that I’m older, I love it. This is just a plain fun haunted house movie.

The Story

Here’s the story. A young couple living in a big mansion with the fathers crazy aunt is met with heart ache when their son disappears. The crazy aunt explains that it was the house that took him...of course! The parents eventually split up, and the father, Roger Cobb (yes, from memory, I’ve seen it that many times) writes some fun and icky monster horror books and gets famous. She is also on a soup opera and somewhat famous herself.

Ok, so, then the crazy aunt kills herself and leaves the house to Roger. So, he moves in. Right, that makes sense. He claims its for solitude, but its really to find his kid. You see, he’s a Vietnam veteran, and is hard core. His new neighbor is a huge fan and kinda annoying, but is a good guy. Another neighbor is kinda hot and uses him for his pool and baby sitting serves...yes, while the house is haunted.

This is a fun comedy, with some good action and fun scenes.

“A Racoon, Rog!?”

If you like to be a little bit scared, but not too bad, and want a fun movie to watch, this is the one for your.

 

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